Q & A with Kara_Sutra

Problems with Penetration

 

Question:

Terribly sorry to bother you, I know you get a lot of emails and messages, but I really love your videos and they have helped me a lot, so I thought you might be able to help me with my situation and I couldn't find the answer to my question in any of your videos.

To be blunt, my boyfriend has a rather large penis (7.5in, 2 in.wide), and I'm a very little girl (120lbs), and we have been having problems in the bedroom. We are probably the most intimate couple I know, completely in love, and after a long wait we decided that we wanted to have sex. We're both virgins. However, whenever we try, he cannot penetrate. I know that it is not a matter of our comfort level, both of us want it very much, and I get wet, but he can never penetrate more than an inch without me experiencing extreme pain. Inserting tampons larger than regular size is even uncomfortable for me. We have tried multiple times with various condoms, and I am aware of the fact that the first time will hurt, but I was wondering if you have any suggestions, like positions we could try, or products we could buy to make it less uncomfortable for me, or any other advice you might have.
Would it be easier if we "practiced," as in, he tries to penetrate a little more every time? Or would that just make the pain worse?

Thanks for your help,

Worried First Timer

 

Answer

Dear Worried First Timer,

Thanks for watching and supporting what I do!!

What your are experiencing is very common and something I hear from females all the time. That being said please be aware of the fact that it is normal, to be expected and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

As for suggestions, I think you should start small and then work up to his actual penis. There are many things that you can use that are smaller then him that will help your body to stretch, get accustomed to having something inside as well as provide you with the stimulation you need to have an orgasm.

First I would suggest making foreplay a very regular and integral part of your experience. I say this because the more aroused you are the more your vaginal canal will expand to allow the insertion of a penis. Just to be clear, when the vaginal canal at its largest (fully expanded) it's "usually" between 6 - 7 inches deep. Unfortunately the more foreplay doesn't equal a deeper expansion.

Also by making foreplay a regular part of your experience you allow your body to go through the natural response cycle of arousal, allowing your body to lubricate and ready itself for intercourse.

Next I would suggest that you try having him use his finger on you to penetrate. I realize that it still might hurt but using lots of lubricant and relaxing can make a world of difference. I don't suggest that he use his fingers in an "in and out" motion as the friction can sometimes hurt but instead that he "hook" his fingers and make a gentle "come hither motion" with them to stimulate your g-spot.

Once you've tried this you may want to try a small silicone dildo or vibrator. This can be done by him or by you when you are alone. Either way the purpose is once again to get you used to the feeling of having something inside as as well as stretch you a little bit.

Once you feel comfortable with that then I suggest you try and have him personally penetrate you. Again, it may still be painful but usually if you've taken the necessary time to allow your body to get used to the feeling and achieved a state of arousal where you are in excited anticipation, rather then fear of intercourse, it can make a world of difference.

The final suggestion I have is to take some time relaxing before you have sex. The more relaxed you allow your body to become the more you will enjoy the experience because you are not tense, and therefor not "tightening" up.

Please remember that it isn't something that is going to happen over night and instead is going to take some time for you to get used to. That being said, once you are comfortable and ready it can make the experience a much more pleasurable one then a painful one.

I do understand how frustrating this can be and hope that some of my suggestions helped

Kara_Sutra

 

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