Ok so im blogging today about something extra special..... me!

No but really, I'm going to blog about me...becuase there are a few things that I think need to be cleared up...about me and how I'm viewed...

For all the people out there who want to pass judgement on the way I choose to "behave"...I'm sorry if I know what it means to "live"...to fully live...to enjoy everyday like its the last...to be silly and not care about what anyone really thinks...or shy away from the things in life that I find fascinating...or horrifying...or outrageous...or frightening...or beautiful...

I am who I am...and thats all I can be...

I misbehave, I talk loudly and with error at times...I push limits and buttons...I think freely and try my best to be positive in a crippled world like this one...I hug and hold tightly...I hope and I pray and I try to have faith in people, life, love, lessons and the in the fact that eventually everything will work out exactly as planned...and I trust...I make an ass of myself daily, I joke, I take silly pictures...I banter, and swear, and yell, sometimes aggressivly and at other times for the sheer humor in it...I say whats on my mind and I dont pretend to be something I'm not...

I suck where love is concerned lol...not because I dont know how to love...I think if there is one thing I am very good at, its loving...but because most people mistaken me for someone that I am not...and in the waking of fully knowing who I am...they disregard the good...in search of the bad...an excuse or reason to run from that which frightens them...because somewhere along the way...they were treated unfairly...or used...or manipulated...or cheated on...or were told...and believed they didn't deserve...or weren't good enough...or worthy of...love...the unconditional kind...(*the only kind I know of)...or someone who might actually "get them" & love them for who &/ or how they are ~...without the false pretenses or the masks...without the criticisms or judgements...without the needing to own, but instead share...grow...and flourish...allowing full freedom...because thats what unconditional love does...or did...before we grew up, got bitter...and were told not to believe in such things....

I take risks, laugh loudly, taunt...harass to get my way...I say things that are politically incorrect...I listen and I talk and sometimes my responses or suggestions of advice are outright wrong...but I try and thats what matters...I care and I do what I feel is necessary or called for...in that moment...I believe in love...and in the good in people...I reach out...wear my heart on my sleeve...babble wayyyyy too much...I am way more transparent then I think I am...I make mistakes...I feel, I cry, I heal...I stir the pot and dance and sing (*again loudly)...I rebel, I dont take life seriously, I scream, shout, bleed, persist...

I respect people and their boundaries...I can sit at a dinner table in a restaurant and know how and when to "behave"...I can carry a conversation with a pauper or a millionaire...I'm probably a lot more educated then people give me credit for...I am proud of what I have accomplished so far...I am kind and considerate...I give the shirt off my back or the penny in my pocket...I'm quiet and shy (*yes there are those moments too)...I second guess myself...I'm insecure at times..I beat myself up...and I forgive...sometimes even tho I know I shouldn't, but if you cant forgive, you'll never forget...and somethings aren't worth holding onto...I read often and usually have more then one book on the go at once...I write, from the heart, from my soul...I have dreams of one day being bigger then I ever believed was possible...I let people know that they are loved...and why...and encourage them to be honest and real...because that really is the best you can hope for in a person...

and eventually...

somewhere down this long and winding road...I'll find her...the woman inside of me...who piece by piece is coming together...through all of the lessons I'm learning and the paths that are unfolding before me...I'll find her...the little girl who got lost somewhere along the way...and the fully grown woman...who found her way back home...to where the heart is....

...and while im on this road of discovery...I will continue to make no excuses for who I am...or how I am...or the way I behave...

after all, I'm just a girl, like any other girl...who wants to belong.

take me or leave me...for better or worse...I am who I am...

Kara_Sutra

p.s. if you want to learn more about me subscribe to www.YouTube.com/KaraSutraTV