Q & A with Kara_Sutra,

Problem with Female "Odour"?

 

Question:

I've been watching your videos for a while now and would like some help with a problem I'm having with my girlfriend, frankly: her vagina smells. I bought her douche kits, have made her take a bath before sex, even suggested she try using deodorants "down there". She doesn't like it either, but she doesn't seem to do much to fix it. I will be honest, our sex life has even started to suffer since I don't like the way she smells. I don't want to make her douche every time we have sex...but I don't know what else to do. We have been together for quite a few years now and it just seems to keep getting worse. Is there anything I can do?

 

Answer

Thanks for watching and supporting what I do, it really does mean a lot to me.

In regard to your "problem", please understand that every woman has her own body chemistry and hormones that contribute to the way she smells and tastes, regardless of how “healthy” she eats, how “clean” she is or her “lifestyle” choices.

As for my suggestions; the first thing you might want to do is talk to her about seeing a doctor since the cause of the smell might be due to an infection like bacterial vaginosis (a very common infection among women).

While some may classify BV as an STD, since there is no hard standing evidence to suggest it, I will say that it's actually not. Among other natural causes, Bacterial Vaginosis may occur from semen entering a womans vagina and throwing off her natural pH balance. That said, if you've been having unprotected sex, stop doing that. After she has seen a doctor and knows that she's healthy or has been treated for an infection, go back to using condoms to limit the sperm that comes into contact with her vagina (unless your trying to conceive of course).

Second, STOP MAKING HER DOUCHE!! I don't know how much clearer I can make it, but please stop her douching immediatly. Contrary to all the commercials about feeling "not so fresh", the Vagina has a natural way of cleaning itself out. It's not meant to be flushed with harsh chemicals or detergents. That's probably the WORST thing you could do for her!!

I understand that you might have felt it necessary for her to use something to "clean" her vagina, but you also need to understand that those products are designed by companies that want you to believe that the vagina is 'dirty' when it's not. While I can't blame you I will be honest, it REALLY frustrates me when I hear guys say they "made her douche"...it's the completely wrong thing to do and like I said does more harm then good.

I'm pretty sure this is probably the first time you've heard someone say the above so please let me explain; the vagina has a naturally acidic pH level that takes care of all the bad bacteria. When a female douches she washes away all the bad bacteria, along with the good, resulting in a perfect environment for the bad bacteria that enters to take over. This new environment creates a situation where a female has a higher chance of developing bacterial vaginosis or other infections. Like I said, douching is bad!

My third suggestion is to bring up the option of 100% cotton underwear and limit the amount of tight synthetic material that she wears. Wearing cotton will allow her body to breathe and reduce the amount of sweat present down there, which will also hopefully result in less of a "smell".

Fourth, if she is using deodorant on her vagina get her to stop. That, like douching, can equal a recipe for disaster; the body sweats for a reason. By applying deodorant to her vagina she can not only increase the likelyhood of her getting an infection but also confuse her body and force it to overcompensate in other ways.

Finally, some women, no matter what they do to make themselves smell or taste “better” will still smell or taste a certain way with little or no difference. It’s normal, its natural and it’s just the way that their personal body functions. It’s nothing for her to be ashamed of or feel grossed out about.

The last thing I want to bring up on this topic, is that the way that you choose to discuss it with her and the words you choose to use will have a direct impact on her as a person and a lover;

  • if you go to her in a loving way, with kind words, the offer to help and be willing to learn all that you can (even possibly help pay for medication or cotton undies) she will be more willing to oblige and attempt to "fix the problem".
  • if you go at her in an angry, disgusted, frustrated, turned off or rude manner I can pretty much guarantee that you will not only offend and hurt her, but also create a situation where she feels embarrassed and ashamed of her vagina and in turn her sexuality. She will think of her vagina as "dirty" "gross" or "shameful" and more likely not want to put out...and when she does she will be less enthusiastic and probably wont enjoy it very much. Trust me, I hear it all the time.
  • on that same note, please also try to understand that for most women their vagina is a very touchy subject (no pun intended). Most of us are raised in a society that teaches us to believe that our sexuality, body parts and sex itself are things we shouldn't speak about and should hide away from others;
    • we are taught to use words like "private parts" in reference to our genitals, a seemily innocent choice of wording that only further instills this belief.
    • depending on the culture a female has been raised she could be taught to think that her vagina is "foul" "disgusting" "gross" "dirty" "nasty" and all those other words associated with the things we shouldn't want to touch or talk about.
    • daily we are bombarded by mainstream media promoting products that "help" women to feel "fresh" "clean" and smell like "flowers" or "summer rain". These companies do nothing more then make millions by continually misleading the mass viewing public and cause unknowing females to believe that their vaginas are not self cleaning and instead shouldn't smell the way they do. Vagina's have a scent, it's just part of life. Get over it.

Basically, the vagina is something that not very many women are comfortable talking about...let alone their own vagina. That said, be conscious and conscientious with your choice in wording and how to choose to deal with the situation, and understand that by bringing it up you could be hitting a really vulnerable issue for a woman.

If your relationship is important to you, I suggest that you take the time necessary to understand the way the female body works and learn as much as you can. Unfortunatley, due to the corporations that solely exist to make society think vaginas are "dirty", we are taught to think that there is really only one option, when instead, there are many.

I hope that this helps you understand that there is nothing "wrong" with her or the way she smells and provided you with options to think about.

Kara_Sutra

 

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