Q & A with Kara_Sutra,

Anal sex, Lubricants and Vibrators

 

Question:

Hey Kara,

I just wanted to say thank you for all the videos you've done and for helping those of us who are clueless to learn!! I have a few questions that I hope you could answer since I don't know much about anything.

What pointers or tips would you give to all of us beginners about anal sex, lubricant and vibrators?

Thanks

 

Answer

  I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you already know how to put on a condom, pop a birth control pill or insert a diaphragm.  Not to neglect the importance of protected sex, but this is written for everyone taught the common knowledge of "safe" sex, with all of the fun stuff left out.  

Before I get to the subjects at hand, let me reassure you that you're not taking the advice of the next hopeful Carrie Bradshaw. Though I do not claim to be an "expert" on the matter, I have worked in a sex shop or two, lived with a professional dominant, taught seminars on such things as oral sex/anal play/g-spot stimulation and std's, not to mention played with a toy or ten in my day, all of which amount to a great deal of knowledge on the subject.

            With that said, I'm going to share the 3 lessons I wish I had been taught before being thrown into the world of playful fornication;

LESSON 1: ANAL PLAY HOW TO'S

 You've heard it before, the horrific myth of someone whose friends' friend lost something in their rear.  Let me inform you; it is NOT a myth.  This can and does happen, more often then one would suspect.   How you ask, well it's just this simple; the anus is made up of numerous muscles and nerve endings with two main functions, to keep the waste inside the body, and when ready, expel it.  Once released, the body's natural reaction is to contract and pull up over the remaining waste creating a suction effect.  It's this suction that creates the problem.   Unlike a vagina which will naturally push out foreign substances/objects to protect the vagina (womb) from infection, the anus will act in the exact opposite way, pulling the foreign object in, causing it to travel farther into the rectum.   I'm not trying to scare you as anal play can be a pleasurable experience, but I do have a few suggestions to save yourself the embarrassment of a late night trip to the ER.  First, start small and make sure to use a toy that is seamless and has a flared base like one that Tantus makes.  Most toys labelled "anal safe" really aren't.  The best way to check if your toy is; make a circle with your index and thumb (think of an "ok"sign) insert the toy between your fingers, with the other hand give the toy a slight tug, if it stays in place you should be good.  If it slides through, pass on it and make a better selection.   The second thing to take into consideration is that the anus does not self lubricate, as such you will want to use a good lubricant to avoid any internal tearing. Choose a lube that is thick, slippery and wont get tacky over a short span of time; silicone is best as it maintains its consistency and wont need to be reapplied very often. 

Lesson 2: LUBRICANTS WITH GLYCERIN ARE BAD! (I.e. K-Y jelly)

     Speaking of lubes, one of the first things I came to learn while working in a sex shop was that the goopey, thick, odourless jelly was VERY bad for women (sorry Johnson & Johnson, I'm pretty sure you're going to hate me for this).  For those of you not "in the know" let me educate you on the substance. In 1904 K-Y was introduced as a surgical lubricant.  Commonly used for the insertion of medical tools, and liked by doctors for its natural base, K-Y took over the market.  I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but someone, somewhere, thought it might also be good for the insertion of other things. However, they didn't read the label before use; K-Y (and most lubricants) contains glycerine as one of the first 3 ingredients. Although used to make the product slippery, when exposed to oxygen and friction, glycerine quickly becomes sticky, needing to be reapplied. More importantly, when broken down by the body glycerine turns into sugar. Yeast (no not the bread making kind) thrives in a sugary environment. That's right ladies, your rendezvous with that handsome young stud and fun tube of lube may have been the cause of your last yeast infection.  To avoid the discomfort and embarrassing itch, take this advice; use a good water based lube.  There are a few on the market worth purchasing, System Jo is a great one; it's pharmaceutical grade, glycerine free, silicone free, oil free, maintains its consistency, has no smell or taste, and doesn't get sticky. Your best bet to find this product is to check online or at your local sex shop as it hasn't caught on in the mainstream pharmacies yet.  If you're unable to get your hands on a bottle, read the label when purchasing your next lube and when available, go with one that has glycerine as a last ingredient. 

LESSON 3:  GOOD VIBRATIONS     

   So you've found yourself standing before a giant wall of sex toys, slightly overwhelmed and more then a little confused.  I've seen it a hundred times; the look of shear fright over the wide selection of products on the market.  Picking a good sex toy really isn't as scary as it seems.  First start small, find a toy that you are comfortable with and appeals to you.  Next, choose a good quality material.  You might want to pass on jelly toys as they contain phalates, a chemical used for softening rubber. If you must, use a condom over the toy as it will provide a barrier for your safety.   Silicone toys are great; they don't absorb any bacteria (If your going to be using your toy for anal play, I highly suggest silicone for this reason) and in most cases can be cleaned by boiling, putting in the dishwasher (yes you read that correctly) or plain soap and water. Tantus makes an amazing line of platinum grade silicone toys that are easy to care for, last a very long time and are beautifully made.  One important thing to know; DO NOT use a silicone lube with a silicone toy. When used together the silicone will bond, breaking down the toy and defeating the whole purpose of it being non-porous. Instead stick with water based lube for silicone toys.   The last thing to consider when choosing a toy is the vibe. When making your selection, ask the toy seller if you can see how it works, don't be embarrassed, it's their job.  Choose something with varying speeds, dials are great for beginners and push button usually offer more options for the advanced user.  I advise you go online and do some research as to the different types of vibes, that way when you go shopping you'll have an idea of what you want and wont be so overwhelmed with the options presented.

              I hope in reading this your questions have been answered, curiosity has been peaked and that you've gained the necessary information for safe sexual exploration. Remember, sex is a subject not to shy away from, but instead, one that should be embraced and experienced as a further exploration in knowing ones self. Happy and safe travels.



hope that helped

Kara_Sutra

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